I know, know. My blog has once again been wilting for lack of lack of attention. Not that I am one to make excuses but my life has continued to be “interesting” in the Chinese sense of the word as many of you are aware. Anyway thank you to all of you who have shown such patience and loyalty when I have not been able to answer e-mails as promptly as usual and sessions have had to be re-arrange sessions. Rest assured that my gratitude shall be expressed in all manner of cruel and unusual ways…..
So to start as I mean to go on a little some appropriate for such a hot and sunny day where the only place you want to be is lounging in the garden.
Dans le jardin
The answer is: take them on an outing to see the most talked about film of the year so far, “50 Shades of Grey”. My good colleagues Mistress Alice Malice, Lady Lola, Mistress Akella and I could not stop laughing from the moment Anastasia, the virgin heroine of this sorry saga, did a comedy fall into the office and evil lair of billionaire and sexual sadist, Christian Grey who promptly informs her, with all the subtlety of a sledge hammer, that he enjoys “taking control in all things”.
Mr Grey engages in some moody staring whilst Annatasia takes her kit off which pretty well sums things up!
Matters did not improve both in terms of the film or the borderline hysterical behaviour. As the Mills and Boons-esque cliques relentlessly continued and Annatasia is given an improbable number of exotic air travel experiences and orgasms, I spilt my gin and tonic and Lady Lola choked on her popcorn. We did feel a little bad at first that the barely contained guffaws might be disturbing the reverential silence of genuine fans of the trilogy, but soon the rest of the audience was tittering away also.
So does this film have anything to merit it other than being unintentionally rather amusing? My conclusion is very little. It is essentially a bodice ripper with some handcuffs and spanking thrown in for a little extra frisson. Though the sex scenes were very well and sensitively shot, as were the activities that took place in the Red Room of Pain (these scenes also had the distinct advantage of no-one saying anything!) The Red Room of Pain itself was also very aesthetically pleasing and Mr Grey had some rather exquisite implements. He didn’t seem to know what to do with them, however. Mr Grey’s backhand whipping technique was most bizarre and seemed to require a level of exertion where 6 of the best left him dripping in sweat. Perhaps he should drop round in his helicopter some times and I will give him some tips!
Nice crop, shame Mr Grey doesn’t know what to do with it….
As you may have noticed the Miss Myers blog has been a little neglected in 2015. I have not had the best start to the year, as some of you are aware. I have been really rather unwell. There were even a couple of weeks in January of the when I lost all desire to do cruel things to testicles, which gives you some indication of the gravity of the situation!
However, I am now very much on the mend and am increasingly feeling in the mood to rant about all sorts of things. Particularly the travesty which is 50 Shades of Grey the film . I am going to see this on Wednesday (for research purposes only of course!). Once I have recovered from the trauma I am sure I shall share my thoughts. However for now I would like to share with the latest Private Eye cover which made me chuckle.
A Merry Christmas to you all!
And May 2015 be full of much naughty fun (if you need any help in that regard I do know a lady you could call…)
Yes, yes I do appreciate you all want to know what happened when Robert and I went off piste, when we got a little inspired and I got a little disrobed. Well here is a tantalising little taster. Who knew what fun could be had with Italien hosiery….
So first things first. My apologies for going a little quiet on the blogging front. I have been suffering from a rather nasty case of whatever lurghy is going the rounds so have got a little behind on life. However, I am now back to my usual vital self, full of vim and vigour and just a little viciousness.
Back in October I went to visit the talented Robert Babylon for another photo shoot. My petite, elegant feet are often praised by those who have the honour and privilege of worshipping them, so I decided they deserved a photo shoot of their very own (though we did get a little inspired along the way and go off remit as per usual – I suggest divesting myself of some clothes, Robert thinks this is an excellent plan etc etc).
It is always important to smooth one’s stockings
It transpires that taking alluring pictures of feet is not as easy as you might think. In the context of being attached to a strict and elegantly dressed Mistress who is instructing you to do all sorts of deviant things, feet can be very sexy things indeed. However, creating that allure and eroticism in a photograph, quite detached from that context proved to be quite a challenge. Without a little imagination a picture of a foot has the potential to look a little dull however perfectly petite or manicured it might be. Fortunately, neither Robert and myself are lacking in imagination and with some creative use of accessories I think we did the fabulous size fours justice (before the divesting of the clothes began that is). Anyway do let me know what you think!
Careful where you put your balls now…